Being Yourself Means Being Vulnerable
Whenever I hear the advice: “Just be yourself!” I took the advice and just acted like I normally did.
The situation sometimes worked out in my favor, sometimes, against me.
As I learn to “be myself” more - I am wondering if “being myself” really means be vulnerable, to take down my guard and let my inner self show - warts and all.
I feel this insight comes from watching Hot Ones interviews - the interview show were guests vulnerable by having spicy food, so they can’t keep their guard up and show their vulnerable selves. This is impressive when they have actors on, whose whole career is to have their guard(s) up.
Since I have gone for the vulnerable route, I notice I get better responses from those I love, like my family. Where I would have my guard up and defend my position with my wife, I would be vulnerable and share my inner self - the context around what I am thinking.
Some examples:
- When I don’t know the answer, instead of talking around I would say: “I don’t have experience in that area and can’t give a good answer”
- Instead of just saying: “No”, I would share my fear, uncertainty, and doubt instead
- Saying: “You’re right” when they are more thant 50% right (instead of correcting to 100%)
Being vulnerable hasn’t always worked out - I still did not get everything I want “just by being vulnerable”. One thing I do have less of in situations that don’t work out for me is that I have less regret and dwell on how to improve my performance in the situation.
Now I know that: I opened up, shared my inner self, and that’s the best I have. The situation didn’t work out for a reason, that may be apparent now or with enough time.
When I want to be myself, I am vulnerable - show my inner self, warts and all.