I’m watching Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore’s The Great Courses video on: Raising Emotionally and Socially Healthy Kids . These are some of my notes on Chapter 3 - Anger.
If your child is prone to fits of anger, instead of dealing with the anger, understand their anger triggers.
To understand their anger triggers: for two weeks, record what happens before a child gets angry.
Your authority with your child is not given (as much as you think it is!) You have to earn your authority, and authority depends on your relationship.
To build relationship with your child, spend quality time with them. (Easier said than done, right?)
To spend quality time with them:
- just observe
- comment what you see
Prefer “Universal Laws” instead of Character Flws
Instead of labeling your child’s behavior as a character flaw, i.e. “You’re such a slob”, describe universal laws - i.e. “Coats belong in the closet” instead.
As soon as parents respond with anger towards their child, they are just another sibling and have given up all of their authority in their child’s perspective.
Ultimately, parents needs to model good behavior to earn and maintain authority.